So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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