I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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