Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
