you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
