Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
