haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize