one might say we're banned from that church
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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