we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize