only if we run a train.
done.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
