When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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