we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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