That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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