i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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