Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize