We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
