Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So. Much. Porn.
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