i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want to make a zoo with you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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