its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
