she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
