Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
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I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize