Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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