I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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