i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
