i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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