I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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