Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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