If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
