I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
