I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
