No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
