well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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