just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
