if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Too much gin, very little bucket
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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