dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
