Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
