I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
