he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
