I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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