i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
