my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
