Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she peed on how many people?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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