dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The best revenge is premature balding
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
