They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
