She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
