Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is wine microwaveable?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
