we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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