My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you traded sex for a burrito?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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