Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
