She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
