He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have tasted many bathrooms
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
