very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
