just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
