**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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