Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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(845): View more from New York

what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..

(250): View more from British Columbia

i'll start checking the bushes on campus.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

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(678): View more from Georgia

We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

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(269): View more from Michigan

If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you

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(720): View more from Colorado

We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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(305): View more from Florida

She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf

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