I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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