I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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