You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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