did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
