I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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