Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
