God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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