so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
