we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're breaking my sexual little heart
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
