we're chasing vodka with high fives
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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