Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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