Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
