btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize