I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
