I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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