im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
