you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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