Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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